Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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