508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
