tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
