So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize