i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
