Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize