It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
