I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
