don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
