I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
