I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
