I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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