Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
