You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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