I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
