He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
