He kissed a someone with a penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
