There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
