he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
