i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
