and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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