i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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