remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
