So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
