i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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