that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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