the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
