My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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