Yo dont text me then not text me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
