If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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