we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
