We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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