Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
