You made me cry and you don't even care
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
