I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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