careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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