How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
