How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
