is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
