we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
