That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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