Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
