Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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