You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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