Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
