doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
