i think my mom watched the whole time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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