after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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