There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
