TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
