My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
