I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
