Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
