sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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