it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
