We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
