so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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