I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
