Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The power of my boobs compel you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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