Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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