Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
