im six kinds of drunk right now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
