Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
