Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
