That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
