I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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