You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I know her cup size but not her name....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
